Wednesday, August 16, 2017

the chalice and the bracelet of immortality

hello there

well, if you have stumbled upon or actively sought this post out it is probably the case, look you see, that you have some form of interest in attaining immortality. everyone must have some goal or dream to seek, to be sure, and it is not for me to cast a sense of doubt over such of others. i would, however, suggest you think carefully about obtaining this. all and everyone would want more time, but to have all might be problematic.

on this day of all days, then, we look at ways which might grant such to you. and do please note the emphasis via italics on the "might" aspect, for there is no comprehensive, conclusive or even slight evidence that either, both or a combination of these thereof would attain it. but, you never know what's hanging until it drops.

as good a conduit as any for seeking immortality in the form of a chalice and/or a bracelet is The King, Elvis Presley. and so this is precisely what i shall do, if you are still reading and have not pressed on the links for that most revered name of The King, Elvis Presley.

the above is the chalice i speak of, although it has incorrectly been referred to as a "mug" on the packaging. as if The King, Elvis Presley would appear on something so common as a mug that a brickie or labourer or educational book editor in America would use.

as you can undoubtedly see in the glory of Commodore 64 mode, this special presentation set features the chalice and a saucer / coaster thing upon which it would be right and proper to place the chalice.

would using this chalice and saucer in the correct combination grant one the generosity of The King, Elvis Presley and cede to them the gifts of immortality? i know not. thus far i have not been brave enough to contemplate an attempt to do so, let alone actually try.

bracelet? bracelet. i have edited this advert some, for if you wish to order it at the expense which it is listed that is on you and for you to find out, i do not recommend or endorse that you do. and this is irrespective of whether or not it has any powers of immortality which are certainly not listed, advertised or even suggested.

did i forward the above on to Spiros? why, yes, i did. i casually asked him how many of these bracelets he proposed to purchase and he said "all of them". so it is probably for the best that i have removed contact details, as you would just be disappointed.

am i giving consideration to purchasing one of these bracelets? not at all. beyond the fact that i really do not do jewellery, even if it does feature The King, Elvis Presley, the cost involved is a bit rich for my blood. at £149.95 plus postage, or if you like north of £149, it's just not meant to be worn by a simple commoner such as i.

once more shall we look at the image which blesses the chalice of The King, Elvis Presley? since we are all here i see no reason why not.

as wonderfully reflected in Commodore 64 mode the chalice (and the coaster / saucer aspect) feature(s) a depiction of the four known stages of His excellency The King, Elvis Presley. lovely.

well, undoubtedly you have other matters to attend to presently. let me waste no further of your time now, as such, then.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

be excellent to each other!!!

Monday, August 14, 2017

mug impossible

hey there

virtually every post on this subject, to be sure, starts off with these words. but hey, look you see, it's my blog so i guess i can do as i jolly well please.

few, if any, of the posts i do prove to be quite so popular as those featuring mugs. mugs as in the drinking chalice sense of the word, and not some colloquial use of the phrase. normally the subject of a mug would be breached here as and when i have obtained a new one. this isn't quite the case this time around. no, i procured this one a fair amount of time ago. now, however, is the time when i have come to be brave enough to use it.

brave, i say? brave, you ask? why yes. this, as you can see, is one of the more complex mugs ever to have been made or if you like forged. courage was required to attempt use.

yes. as in no, you are not mistaken, yes the above is in Commodore 64 mode. and further yes, this chalice of a mug is indeed styled on the character of Mr Strong out of the celebrated Mr Men books.

styled as in an exact replica, i suppose you could say. whereas most mugs are, by tradition if not convention, round or otherwise cylindrical in shape and dimension, this is not. no, far from it, as far as one shape can be far from another. in true devotion to the likeness of Mr Strong, this mug is indeed square. well, square except for the slightly rounded corners and edges. and the handle. and the feet.

what's that what i have inside this Mr Strong mug? tea. in this world there are only two types of acceptable tea. they are Yorkshire Tea and Fortnum & Mason tea. well, ok, a third would be Rooibos, to be sure, but some kick off and say that isn't really a "real tea".

one really cannot imagine circumstances in which you would wish to know exactly the type of tea from the above i enjoyed from this mug. should you not want to know read no further in terms of this paragraph. for those who must know, however, it was Yorkshire Tea.

so for what reason do i say that bravery and courage were required to use this mug? well, the challenge is in the shape. it's square, you see. which means it is not the most conventional type of mug one is used to drinking from. caution and care were required, then, to avoid spillage.

no, spillage was not avoided. the tea tends to flash flood over the top of the square nature of the mug. whilst from time to time i have been accused (indeed correctly) of having a big mouth, it is not literally so. anyone who has a mouth the size of which would be required to get the entirety of the mug into it so to avoid spillage is probably employed in the mature cinema adult film industry. that, or a donkey or other such beast of the field.

true, guilty as charged. i tend to be, at the very best of times, a sloppy, messy and clumsy eater. this kind of spillage, or accident or other such disgrace, routinely follows whenever i endeavour to consume something. so the mug can as point of fact take only partial blame. but yes, the shape of this splendid Mr Men mug does make spillage all the more difficult to avoid or otherwise limit.

provenance of my smart Mr Strong mug? i am uncertain. i think it was Tesco or similar, as point of fact perhaps it was Morrisons. what i can assure you of, however, was that it was cheap. cheap enough for me to insist on purchasing, despite already owning more mugs that i could use in this lifetime or the next. looking smart and irresistible pricing is a combination i simply cannot neglect.

why did i elect to all of a sudden make use of this mug? mostly felt like it. perhaps a sense of courage and bravery were with me, or maybe i just noticed it, remembered that i had it and opted to test drive.

shall i make continued use of this Mr Strong mug? i see no reason not to. as a chalice or other such vessel for tea it performs wonderfully, containing or being able to handle as it does much more in volume in terms of tea within it. i doubt that i would use it for coffee, though, as that would be insane.

anyway, onwards and off i shall go on my merry way, then, for further adventures. yes, sure, any of interest (even if that interest is to me alone) shall surely and most decidedly be covered here.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, August 12, 2017

how Spiros got his groove back


to be as honest as i can so far as be aware of being honest about it i am uncertain the tittle for this post is either legitimate or apt. from what i can recall there was a film with a title not too dissimilar to those words, to be sure. i just thought it might make for a catchy title, look you see.

adventures of Spiros, then. from the past and past. just that some of them are from a further past than the more recent one. it would be impossible to state what his future ones shall be, but all the same it is, i feel, safe to speculate that they will end up being magnificent.

my association with Spiros, as many of you i appreciate will know, goes back for several years. many, as point of fact. decades, should you prefer such measurement. consequentially if not evidentially several photographs of me with him, normally celebrating our relationship, exist. ones which are thematic to the title from a further past are then presented here to go with the related ones of the more recent past.

like, for instance or example, the one above. sure, a highlight of the above is the fact that i am wearing a t-shirt which celebrates The Stone Roses. that doesn't date it i suppose as that could be from any time since whence there has been a Stone Roses to celebrate, but i would speculate this is all from some 20 or so years ago.

it would indeed appear that we, which is Spiros and i, are engaging in some form of dance. as dance is inevitably associated with groove, it seemed fair to put this here. not that the dance we were conducting seems to be one related to The Stone Roses. no, this all looks like a fusion of the Village People, the Bee Gees and maybe Kiss, to cite the three biggest bands of the disco era.

something of a more recent image of Spiros, since you would presumably be more interested in seeing further of him and lesser of me? i don't see why not. here, then, if it pleases, is what at time of writing is the most recent image what i have of him.

all that i can do is assume that you will observe with some interest the intensity across the face of Spiros as he extracts the pleasures from the pink flamingo. as far as i am aware it is a sculpture of a pink flamingo rather than a real one. he assures me that this is all part of a custom and tradition in the society where he was at somewhere in Eastern Europe when this was taken. with some pride he also mentioned to me that the erstwhile custodians of the flamingo were so thrilled and impressed with the intensity that Spiros had as he extracted the pleasures of it that they have vowed to retain it for his future personal use.

when you think of pink flamingos you naturally consider Miami Vice, as in the smart class 80s TV show and not the horrible film with the same name. i would say that Spiros and i are equally firm fans of (proper) Miami Vice, only he could probably take it or leave it whilst i remain besotted. once, right, we were at some party - i think might have been New Year or something - when some dude turned up looking exactly like Don Crockett out of Miami Vice, only taller, and not as handsome. well, he had a white suit on. our exuberance and what have you got all carried away at this, which led to us very nearly getting our f*****g heads kicked in as we caused a minor, city wide power outage in our enthusiasm.

has my association with Spiros ever been of a marked professional nature? why yes, albeit or indeed since i seem to use the word a lot perhaps briefly in the grand scheme of things. Spiros is, as has been noted before, the greatest legal mind of his generation. my stature is far lower and nowhere close, so i simply could not keep up with his abilities. i stood aside so as not to hold him back.

that's us hard at work contemplating or considering some top level matter. indeed yes, that is Dan with us, who is brilliant and a genius.

what matter was it that Spiros and i were considering? well, when i asked him he just mentioned something about not being at all fond of recalling that hairstyle, that watch or that tie, even going as far as mentioning a preference for the picture not being published. in all likelihood we were simply doing what clients paid us an awful lot of money to do, which is consider a matter. maybe it relates to some form of indemnity, or it is possible that it has something to do with participant resolution documentation. in any eventuality, you can be assured that our top abilities were applied to it. or whatever we could get away with.

by any chance, you wonder, has Spiros been able to observe further toilets abandoned to the streets as he has toured the world deploying his deft legal skills? yes.

once again he sent me on this picture, and i was not sure what to do with it so i elected to place it here. many such similar pictures have been sent to me before and i generally end up adding them here. as he has not raised an objection, or at the least an objection that i can recall or paid attention to, here we are again.

it would be far from being a connoisseur or  expert in respect of toilets that i would describe myself. this one, so far as i can see, seems in decent condition. perhaps it has simply been removed as part of some refurbishment or redecoration rather than discarded due to damage. the internet provides a harbour or home to all; i am sure someone with an interest in such things will see the above and be delighted.

now then, this groove of Spiros thing. those of you who are friends or otherwise associated with me on that whole facebook thing will have seen a video what i shared. that video did indeed show off Spiros in the groove, as in it was him electing to bust a move, as it was him dancing. the video will be below, but first for those of you unable to appreciate video on this blog here is a still frame from it.

i fiddled with the brightness a bit as the video is rather dark. still quite possible to watch, however, which means you can enjoy watching Spiros bust a move as he gets his groove back, should he have lost it or otherwise previously displaced it.

oh, yes, that is a yacht that Spiros is on as he busts a move. a very expensive, exclusive yacht, but i am not permitted to say anything more on the subject. weirdly Spiros spends a lot of time on yachts. in professional terms many of the clients who can afford his services hold meetings on yachts to secure privacy. for more personal concerns, well, Spiros finds that yachts are an excellent place to meet sailors, with which he likes to form short term but mutually beneficial friendships.

so anyway, for those who can play back the video footage i load up here from time to time, watch and enjoy as Spiros does indeed bust a move.


certain matters must remain confidential. that said, if you so happen to think that singer is a certain someone, then it probably is. and no they most decidedly are not cheap with their appearance fee, but one gets what one pays for.

although it would be nice, of course, if you thought that some of the stuff i write on here is worth considerably more than the free, or if you like gratis fee it has.

music, dance and the ability to bust a move are not the limitations or confines of art expression which Spiros and i can be from time to time be found guilty of engaging in. far from it. both of us quite like, indeed appreciate, motion pictures. mostly we like the same films, but there are some forms of cinematic joy that Spiros really likes more than i.

here we are, several or a few years ago, recreating the very famous promotional poster image for a film that Spiros assures me is one of the most iconic and celebrated to ever have been made.

i doubt, if what Spiros says is true, that i need to explain what it is. should that be incorrect, then what we are in fact doing is recreating the cover of a film, from either the late 80s or early 90s, called The Cherry. should you be unfamiliar with it, well first and foremost i would caution against doing a Google search. from what i recall of the three or so seconds i saw of it, it was a military based film. other than that, it appeared to be a film made by men, for men, starring only men for an audience of men who like men.

a further abiding memory would be that the attention to detail for the uniforms the all male cast wore was exceptional and impressive, considering that for much of the film they appeared not to actually wear them.

to finish off with, then, a picture of Spiros and i looking relaxed, happy, merry, bright and thoroughly enjoying life. which is, you know, how it all was always supposed to be.

right, then, until there are more examples of Spiros and his groove, or there's something else of interest to add here, i shall progress forwards not backwards with things of stuff to do.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, August 10, 2017

everything's gone green

bonjour, mon amis

yes, quite. if i am starting with the surrendered language of the Frenchies it can surely only mean, look you see, that this blog post is of one of two things. either, then, i shall speak of my unconditional surrender because someone happened to drop something slightly loud or partially threatening at my doorstep, or it is all food. for the interests of clarification it will be the latter not the former, to be sure, assuming that means the last potential i raised.

with respect to reasons i would not wish to divulge here it was that, in recent times, i frequented the branches of Subway more than necessarily necessary. on the one side the solemn purpose of such trips was a failure, but also a victory of sorts came from it.

this victory - and it is indeed something what i am prepared to argue is a victory - was taken in the form of witnessing the brand transition.

whilst green has always had a place in the branding of Subway it seems that they have now decided, perhaps elected, maybe, to go full tilt green. this is, as you can so gloriously see in the above, most prominent in their straws. patrons who elect to use a straw in Subway for their drink must now suck upon a green one. this is as opposed to, well, whatever colour they were before. plain white or maybe black, i think.or possibly them ones what are mostly white but have a colour line down them.

just why the change? well, no idea. should the straws, once, have been black, then it would make sense from an environmental point of view. did you know, cultivated dear reader, that black plastic cannot be recycled? i am unsure as to why for certain, but an educated stab at a guess would be that the colourants or things they do to make it black preclude it being used again.

thus, if that was the case and this is a reason for the change, then it makes sense from a PR perspective, and for the continuance of the world, to change.

in Commodore 64 mode there is their, with them being Subway, new logo. or emblem if you like, maybe livery. whatever. before they were happy to just have the name on the go, but i suppose now in this enlightened era of simplicity it does make some sense to keep it all simple for your target market.

earlier on i am quite certain that i mentioned i was witnessing rebranding very much in a transitional phase. to this end, it is far from the case that the rebranding is complete. whereas inside their various outlets - and they are indeed popular and widespread - the new look can be found, the outside stands still somewhat, apparently oblivious to the changes which are to come.

oh, quite, yes. that is a store on a particularly wet, windy and rainy (hence the wet) day. and yet the staff of this branch has elected to place outside seating for patrons. whilst common sense would dictate that surely no such patron or guest would wish to eat a sandwich, salad or nachos (or combo thereafter) in the rain for the fear of it getting soggy, we must not rush to judge. bravo, then, to those oh so bold and brave ones who sat in the rain to dine. i did not, so contextually i suppose this makes me rather the coward.

whilst that last part will remind you that interestingly i did start all of this off with some deft Frenchie speak, perhaps you would like to look at the smart new green straws in non-Commodore 64 mode. here you go, then, with just a hint of the new logo thingie beneath.

certainly other motivating factors could be behind the ambitious colour change to the straws. i have probably mentioned the psychology of colour in passing here before, and there is every chance that you are aware of it anyway. if not, or and indeed maybe why not, here we go, possibly again.

when it comes to advertising or general psychological manipulation / reinforcement, colour is a most splendid weapon. green is generally used to convey a sense of intelligence, with it being noted that those with a natural affinity for green tending to be more intelligent than the norm. red is associated with passion, desire and/or hunger, whilst certain shades of blue (generally light) are employed to convey trust, confidence and safety.

many financial institutions, then, rely on blue and green for their branding, so as to have the psychological edge over their competitors. them what use a mix of the two - turquoise if you like - are trying too hard and should be viewed with caution.

generally yes, showing off a photo of your food or a meal what you are going to eat is the preserve, indeed reserve, of stuff like Twitter and that other one, Instantgrammage or something. i really do not like showing off that which i shall eat here, as i believe it to be crass. however, in this rare instance it seems on the whole appropriate to do so.

to wrap up a post which has perhaps laboured on for far too long, how about the straw in action? well, a still image representing the straw of green being deployed as intended. as a nice bonus, the new logo what Subway are using features.

yes, that is indeed one of the disposable type of chalice which Subway imbues to patrons that select a drink to go with their meal. well, a cold or if you like non-hot drink, since the tea and coffee comes in some far more reinforced style of grail vessel.

no, i have had a little think on the matter and there really is not much more i could say on this subject. if they are for some reason looking for recognition, best of luck with the new look Subway.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, August 09, 2017

Kyō okotta koto wa nani mo okoranakatta

Nakama no aisatsu

today, assuming you are reading it on what day i published, look you see, is a day of major significance and consequence. one of the most significant anniversaries is marked. it celebrates a day, to be sure, that changed the world of many.

i have every confidence in reason to suspect that i do not need to tell you this, but just for the sake of completeness today is of course the 14th anniversary of the 10th anniversary of the Liberal Democratic Party of Japan (not to be confused with the Japanese Democratic Liberal Party) losing an election after some 38 years in power.

much of the 10th anniversary commemoration was, at the time (obviously) overshadowed by the passing of Gregory Hines. he was an actor and boss dancer who many in Japan harboured hopes of taking over the Sammy Davis jnr mantle of making extremely expensive adverts for Japanese whisky. both events, you would think, are thought about in Japan today.

what can i, someone who has not been to Japan, tell you about this most momentous, if not indeed key, anniversary? not a great deal, i suppose. surely i could speculate, but it is perhaps better or more fitting to let the Japanese text just flow.




those fine, fine words are, i trust you will agree, ones we can all understand, appreciate and perhaps reflect upon.

and with that i shall take my leave of you for now, and press on with things. quite possibly things that involve a hammer, but not in an overtly euphemistic or symbolic way.

Otagai ni yūshū!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, August 08, 2017

fett ish


i find myself in something of a bind, to be sure. for each month of this year i have, look you see, shared some sort of info about Star Wars in order to show off the relevant month as it is shown on that "concept art" calendar i picked up on the cheap.

whilst that calendar has not run out of months i would appear to have run out of anything new, different or of consequence to speak about of Star Wars. perhaps we have all just reached a saturation, if not breaking, point with it.

one would assume that i could simply post the calendar as it is and in itself, but for the sake of variation here's some of my smart Boba Fett collection things.

for those who are somewhat new to this sort of post i do, well, you perhaps need no reminder that Boba Fett is the 3rd best character out of Star Wars, just behind Lando and Lobot. as a result of this Boba Fett is my 3rd favourite character from the series, indeed franchise, just behind Lando and Lobot.

although most marketing around Star Wars is quite subdued and restrained, for some reason is this all the more so for the two best characters. one can seldom, if ever, get any sort of merchandise which celebrates Lando or Lobot. so instead i gather the bronze medal of it all, which is Boba.

so, then, what concept art is on the go for August? alas, more Hoth space and snow battles from The Empire Strikes Back; the fifth film in the series and so in respect of the law of diminishing returns the fifth best film of Star Wars.

two words come to mind with the selection of the images above, in particular the bottom one. boring and predictable would be them. not for what they represent, for it is quite an exciting scene. it's just that the bottom one, with minor character Luke or someone in the slight shadow of a space tank, has been peddled and used loads and loads of times before over the last 30+ years. that said, i don't think i had seen the top image before.

hang on a minute. in that Star Wars film thing, right, the technology to fly is widespread, with even peasant fake orphan farm boys being able to have flying cars. why, then, do they bother making land based forms of transportation?

you are probably here, if you are still here, just for the calendar image, so as you may know what the date is. for those wanting more, here's a controversial non-Commodore 64 mode image of a partial glance at some of my Boba Fett items.

right, let me have a little think as to what i might place here in September for the inevitable and presumably welcome by some look at the calendar for that month.

as ever, it is just splendid if some of you have found this interesting.

live long and prosper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, August 07, 2017

it's not like years ago, the fear of getting caught

hello there

ostensibly i suppose this post shall, look you see, be one of them "nostalgia" ones. a whole lot of sentimental hygiene, lament, self-wallowing too perhaps. the intention, to be sure, would be to punctuate all this with the odd element of general interest, so hopefully you stick around. which is an odd thing to say as i feel like sometimes more often than not i suggest departure for another corner of the internet.

so, then, once more i have been retrieving items from all the boxed up packaging and that many of my possessions, or if you like worldly goods, remain. indeed, yes, surely i should have unpacked all of it by now, for it has been some time since we crossed the seas. true, yes, quite. but also there is little sense in unpacking things one is not going to use when they are safe and rather out of the way when stored.

every now and then, however, one gets an itch that you simply must scratch to satisfaction. it would seem though i have been affected by such a sensation more than once of late, for reasons i am either unsure of or simply do not wish to delve into.

above isn't so much the point of this post as it is. the mighty fine penknives you see (for there are two if you look closely) are ones my Dad bought me on his travels, both i believe coming off of Switzerland. so they are them "Swiss army knives", i suppose. my understanding would be that i am not permitted to walk the streets of England with these, for if you are caught carrying a blade by the constabulary then a custodial spell and criminal sentence, if not in that order, shall be yours.

normally i would not draw attention to CDs in the background, but the soundtrack for Something Wild is of interest. on the down side the version of Ever Fallen In Love by the Fine Young Cannibals is the standard one and not the boss, accelerated mix they used in the film. conversely this CD features a mix of Temptation by New Order that i've not found anywhere else.

ultimately the point of the picture above is the new plug. strangely i am finding few stores here in England now sell plugs off the shelf. i was, however - at what i feel to be a rather exorbitant £1.99 - able to find this splendid, orange "heavy duty" one. 

some optimism was central to the purchase of this most splendid plug. the purchase was made with every intention of attaching, for reasons we will surely see and look at out of interest, it to the item in this rather large (CD boxes for scale and because i did not tidy them up), brown covered box like thing.

what precisely, or even generally if you are not too interested i suppose, is in this box like packaging? accepting that we are all not supposed to be materialistic and that in this world, defiantly i say it is one of my most beloved, treasured and indeed prized possessions.

yes, indeed, a typewriter. my typewriter if you so wish. to be specific, although i would think you can make this out by yourself, it is an Olivetti ET 1250 MD typewriter, proudly showcased as a compact professional typewriter.

the ever important provenance of this typewriter, before we look at it in more detail? a very thoughtful, inspired and forever greatly appreciated gift on the occasion of my 21st birthday from my parents, or if you like my Mum & Dad. bought mostly, you would think, from their knowledge of my love of writing, but partially of course from the fact that my handwriting was, is and always shall be, absolutely terrible.

indeed yes, then, that means that this typewriter is, in the words of Brett Anderson out of Suede in the song Animal Nitrate, over 21 itself. does this make it vintage? well, probably not, but a quick Google search suggests you could not buy one of these in the here and now with any ease. not that everything in this world lives or dies by its presence on the internet.

if for some reason you are here looking for the specifications of an Olivetti ET 1250 MD typewriter, there is what is on the side of the box. a box, and as shall be noted shortly packaging, i have kept and preserved reasonably well. i had to, really. other than wishing to look after it, this typewriter moved with me from Johannesburg to Cape Town and back, and has since moved with me home back to England land.

the main question, relating to the latter part in some sense, is would this typewriter still work? yes i had looked after it and yes it had survived shipping by sea, where it deftly avoided being attacked by Somali pirates or sharks. but it hadn't been plugged in for some 15 or so years; resigned to being safely stored away when i got one of them printer things for a computer.

should for some reason you wish to see the packaging, and we might as well since i have added the picture now anyway, here you go.

yes, true, a good part or aspect of the reason for me keeping the typewriter packaging is that i am something of a hoarder. well, as with all hoarders i suppose i retain stuff for you "never know" when you might need it. in this instance it would seem i was proved correct, though, no?

a pressing question in taking out the typewriter would be whether or not it would still work. would she power up? would the ink i have be not dried out and able to use? one way to find out. although leaving it in storage would have allowed for the blessed relief, delight and satisfaction of a Schrödinger's cat like scenario. should i have left it in packaging, then surely depending on my mood i could have simply assumed it was in working order or it was not to be no more.

of course, in this step by step thing, we now get to have a look at the typewriter taken out of the packaging. and indeed placed on a rudimentary table of sorts to see.

there was indeed a most splendid smile and audible laugh as i took it out. i had forgotten that i had beautified my typewriter with stickers. perhaps it is unlikely that any clarification is required, but yes, indeed they are stickers promoting in a visual sense three great things - Teletubbies, Jurassic Shed (i know Park but when you think about it all of the interesting stuff in the film happened in a shed) and South Park. thankfully i had retained the instruction book for the typewriter, for i needed some refresher memory in how to operate key features.

what did i write (or type) on this typewriter? all sorts, really. my first (and only) novel (i don't recall the name, i am not sure where a copy of it is and no it didn't get published as i was very lazy with the redrafting, to the disappointment of an interested publisher), essays, correspondence to several embassies, inner cards for tapes, labels for video cassettes, poems, etc. mostly, however, i guess i wrote (typed) letters.

i was, once, a prolific letter writer and sender. friends and family all around the world. my evenings, by and large, were all about the stereo or radio on and typing. yes, i bitterly and certainly regret that this is no more. sure, in part life has got in the way, but mostly few if any read or write letters any more. electronic means of communications means that we all suffer or are enslaved by quick, simple disposable messages.

that there above was one wall which stood above where my typewriter was. Cape Town, i think, but perhaps i am mistaken. images and sources of inspiration, i suppose. yes, a lot of The Stone Roses, an attempt at domination by Scarface, and the inevitable nod towards Middlesbrough Football Club. pretty much like every wall above every typewriter in the world, once, maybe.

my view would be that the "me" in the letters i typed out was always a far more better, more interesting and considerably superior someone  to know than me in real life. not that i ever pretended to be anything that i was not in letters; i was simply able to convey it all better, i guess. a general amnesty, then, to see if it in part slowly puts my soul to peace. i am sorry, truly, to virtually everyone that i ever typed a letter to who knew or met me in the real world and they were most disappointed and frustrated that the person behind the letters could not always be the person of the letters.

and so anyway, progression in seeing if this typewriter still worked. in order to do so it was necessary to change the plug on it. this was referenced earlier, right at the start as point of fact, but a reminder may well be appropriate if not apt. i knew, look you see, that a South African plug would be on it and that i would need to (and please note i did not explicitly state superior) replace it with an English one.

why do plugs have a different size, shape and layout around the world? few, if any, countries share the exact same style. the answer is a relatively simple one of practicality. when electricity was being discovered or invented, and plugs were developed to enable the use of it there was no quick, fast and easy way to share drawings and diagrams.  the international leccy boffins could share important safety information via telegrams and what have you, but the nature of the plug and the requisite three pins (earth, live and ground i think) was left to each country alone to come up with. people around the world weren't going to wait for the boat to come in with drawings when they could just knock up prototype plugs themselves based on the knowledge they had.

and so to the business end, one which you may well have already scrolled down and had a look at. perhaps after you have done so you exited this web section and are not reading this, which makes it a shame that i am taking the time to write it.

questions, then. had i put the plug on correctly? would she fire up? were any or all or none of the ink cartridges i had going to still be functional? had the 31,000 character memory survived? answers all, if you are in a rush, all point towards yes. yes, i am delighted to say.

woo hoo, working! there was indeed a thrill, maybe more reminiscent than anything, when i saw she lit up in what seemed to be perfect working order. it was, in the understatement sense of the word, good to see and hear something that was all once what i experienced on virtually a daily basis.made very well, durable and to last, then, these Olivetti typewriters. if i may be so bold, storing them and looking after them proper helps too, somewhat.

right, ok, yes, so the arguably most important aspect was established, possibly in defiance of the theoretical pleasures to be drawn from that whole Schrödinger's cat frame of reference made above. in a worst case, then, i had a working typewriter upon which i may once again arrange to scribe if i was so inclined. the best case would be that the ink worked and that the memory remained, although the latter sounds like a quasi correct Metallica quote.

the fastest test of both was to simply load the paper up into the typewriter, "refresh" my memory on how one got stuff out of the memory, press print and see what happened. this photo of a list of things that i had stored in the memory showed that i was not to be too disappointed, then. well not so much.

goodness me yes, there was and is some reluctance in showing the above. it feels like i am revealing more than i would care to. but, that's awfully presumptuous of me to assume that anyone would care or be so nosey as to look at my personal things, and anyway they are just file names. as interesting as some of the file names are i guess. if lurking around in my past trying to find things makes your future more interesting, knock yourself out i suppose.

it was, overall, thrilling to see that the ink worked and the memory had been retained. sadness, too, however. there are certain things gone, probably deleted by me. well, that 31,000 character memory is finite, and in real terms is probably only about 4KB - just about the size memory you found in an Atari 2600 cartridge. i think at least. sadly, then, one of the things deleted was a play - more of a Rock Opera, i suppose - i once composed about David Lee Roth being declared emperor, and grand high priest, of metal. Spiros said it was the greatest ever play what was ever written and that he would "bust the ass" in court of anyone who dared disagree.

rather strangely, for someone with precisely zero musical talent or ability (although i would like to think taste at the least), that was the second Rock Opera i was involved in writing. the first, some time before the typewriter, was a boss one i did with my mate Woodsie. the name of it and much of the content escapes me, but it was all about a bloke that worked in one of them railway station signal box things, and his efforts to extract money whilst pretending to be on the sick with a bad back. we based this on a real life case of someone in that role saying they were doing this, when me and Woodsie approach the signal box to use the telephone due to a distressed (as in not working) car. there was not really such a thing as mobile phones then.  

yes, that there is a picture of me at my typewriter, all before the beard and whilst wearing a most splendid Reservoir Dogs t-shirt. all my ones of The Stone Roses must have been in the wash or something. a rare picture, perhaps, as so far as i am aware this is the only picture of me what i have that shows me at my typewriter. every day i look at the world through my window, etc. this could be me just naturally assuming, expecting and seeing the worst of me, but i don't seem to appear all too thrilled to be disturbed from my scribe. i never really was open to the idea of being interrupted as i typed, and am still not. unless it is disturbance of furtherance of cigarettes, coffee and/or a change of vibes.

sadly my vibes unit does not seem to be too visible here, although the eagle eyed or studious will have clocked the aerial. it was a boss JVC tape and CD deck; one that my sister got for me one Christmas towards the business end of the 90s. if the business end is the middle to late part. normally any new stereo equipment i get has something very specific played on it first. to honour and remember a very dear friend that would be Waltzinblack by The Stranglers. with this stereo, no. at the same time, and this will probably tell you what Christmas or year this was, i got the debut album off of Black Grape, It's Great When You're Straight....Yeah, so that got played first. the first music it played, then, was the intro to Reverend Black Grape, as i am certain that's the first track on the album.

for those of you using a device and/or browser which allows you to play video off of this blog, here you go, a treat of sorts - a few seconds of video of the typewriter printing something from memory. after a few experiments and reading the book to see how to do that.


what's printing? a rewrite i did of Candle In The Wind in honour of Falco, Austria's second best ever pop star, who sadly passed away in an accident in 1998. many of you will, i speculate, recall that rewriting Candle In The Wind was the fashionable way to honour the noted deceased in the latter 90s. the equivalent today is, i suppose, mumbling something on that Twitter thing.

i did indeed write to the Austrian ambassador of the country i was in at that time, expressing sadness and sorrow that Falco had passed away. an image of that letter being printed from memory is in the last image for this particular blog post, coming up shortly.

so, the typewriter is out, it works, it functions and can be used. now what. i am not sure. ostensibly i wanted it out for a specific purpose; a project i am undertaking for which i thought some photographs of this would be quite nice for.

after i have done that, i remain uncertain. perhaps i should write on it once more? who knows. it could be done for a laugh, for old time's sake. maybe it will remind me of all good that some might say i once was, could let me be that person once again. the medium which you communicate through does much to dictate your mood. well, it does for me.

earlier i mentioned that i had conducted some preliminary investigation across the web via the conduit of Google. whereas it seems one cannot purchase this typewriter the ink cartridges are accessible. certain places would seek to charge south of £4 for them, whereas others look towards a cost north of £17 for the same. were i to resume using this typewriter on a regular basis, then, should the whole device hold out then it is sustainable in the least in terms of getting the requisite ink.

why do this? i mean why go to all the effort of writing this, with pretty pictures et all, and share it when it could all be described as private? not sure. for some reason many, many of you come and read all that i put here, and so instinct carried me through to write this. perhaps it all comes from that hit and hope, shot in the dark sense that someone who once knew me sees it and is kind when they recall me. or maybe it's just interesting.

let me not worry so much about that last aspect and simply press on. on with things to do, etc.

for whatever reason you did so, know that you have my thanks for stopping by and reading.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, August 05, 2017

further swallow baiting


it's more or less a year, to be sure, since i looked at that possibly most English of the English way of doing things, look you see. that of course would be the fine art of swallow baiting, in which one lures and attracts birds of the swallow variety in nature by placing coconuts in their garden. slender is the number of people to have been born and raised in England, or indeed the wider UK, who do not know the why and ways of what indelibly links a swallow to a coconut.

so, anyway. whilst the last few months have seen me engage in an enthusiastic if ultimately failed, to be sure, attempt to lure a kookaburra into my garden, i have most surely returned to the idea of swallow baiting. a move more accidental than incidental perhaps, but let me not discuss everything at once. pictures are what you people like, especially in Commodore 64 mode.

whereas i welcome all birds to come and feast upon what i place in my garden it is not the case that i have a preference for which ones do. that's not true, of course i am eager for a kookaburra to come along, to be sure. rather what i mean is that this move with a return to coconut has not been deliberately engineered to attract the swallow as such. mostly it's due to the fact that my usual, indeed preferred, proprietor what sells stuff to feed to birds had a combination of being out of stock on most forms of seeds whilst having a significant number of packs of coconuts for sale at a discount. a discount which worked out in ostensible ways to half price. recent posts which i won't link to about underwear and caps tell you all that you could wish to know of my inability to avoid what i would think to be a bargain.

it is not actual, all full tilt, essential coconut that i have placed in the garden. no. they are halved and have been packed with a quasi fatty mix of suet, seed and other items of consumption that presumably someone somewhere ascertained that the birds like to eat. or that they are all substances which the birds should be eating in order to sustain a healthy (by avian standards) life.

no swallows as such thus far, but at the least a jackdaw has come along and expressed an interest. apologies for the poor quality of the next image. we would do well to learn much from birds, for their hearing is so ace that when i make the slightest movement inside they tend to hear it and, alas, fly away in fright.

some delighted tits were visible in my garden at the scene of the above. prior to this a blue tit had flown in, had something of a sniff a look and an inspection of the coconut. the bird sort of looked at me after doing so (in my general direction, at the least) with a manner which suggested that it (or he or she) was trying to communicate with me. the communication would be along the lines of "this displeases me, bring back the seeds".

perhaps the coconut containing the mixture was too hard and tricky to penetrate for the tit. this would explain the bouncy with joy what the tits did in my (sorry, our) garden when the jackdaw broke some of the contents down free to the ground for them to eat.

maybe this placement of coconut in the garden is coming to be an "August" thing that i will now do each year, intrinsically or maybe subconsciously. also, perhaps a new trend has started here. it might be jolly fun - and easier - for me to follow the Kasabian model. by calling their most recent album For Crying Out Loud (2017) they have possibly set a trend in which all of their albums will now be called For Crying Out Loud, with the only differentiation for staff at HMV being the year in brackets after the title. it might be of interest if i spent a year simply rewriting or otherwise revisiting blog posts from that date from the year before.

well, there we have it. should this latest coconut endeavour succeed in attracting swallows, or kookaburras for that matter, and i manage to take a picture and remember to do so, i shall most certainly add such here.

be excellent to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, August 03, 2017

bullseye - myth, mystery, adulation, secret and speculation

hello reader

should you wish to pursue reading this post, then a word of advice. actually there are probably several words of advice which should be conveyed to you, look you see, but this is the most pressing. i suggest you stop reading now and go get yourself comfortable, perhaps with a cup of tea. and then continue reading. with some 17 pictures appearing in this post and my penchant for doing balanced text around them, this could be a lengthy read.

or, you know, you might get bored and switch off. i simply don't know.

and so then, yes, as the title pretty much says, more of a favourite subject of mine - Bullseye. the celebrated TV show what Jim Bowen hosted in the 80s and 90s, long before anyone thought to give him a call and asked if he fancied a crack at being Pope for a while as the German bloke they picked to do that turned out to fall short of expectations.

first and foremost, then, attribution. i am humbly indebted to a company called Challenge TV for broadcasting repeat episodes of Bullseye. and you are indebted too, albeit tacitly so, if you enjoy reading this and all the other posts i have done on this most magnificent show.  in doing so, however, they have inadvertently - perhaps unwittingly - allowed many of the myths, mysteries and secrets of Bullseye to be known by the wider, general public.

these were matters kept secret in the sense of that one saying. which saying? that the best place to hide a rock is in a pile of rocks. as in, in plain sight but with no attention drawn. when Bullseye was first broadcast the low resolution and low definition of analogue, terrestrial broadcast television meant that the secrets were obscured. now we watch the show again on far higher definition, better quality television sets. now we can see things we may not have seen before.

like, for instance, the fact that amongst many, many secret celebrity contestants the show attracted, Limahl out of Kajagoogoo just maybe might have been but one.

it is most decidedly possible, i say in covering myself, indeed plausible, that the above contestant, being greeted by his eminence Jim Bowen, isn't actually Limahl out of Kajagoogoo. but, right, when you look at him in a glance sort of way, i would wager your first words of thought in your mind are "hey, that is Limahl out of Kajagoogoo, you know, him what did the song out of Never Ending Story which for some reason did indeed have a conclusion". am i spelling Kajagoogoo right? hope so.

some people might consider the fact that the contestant in question has a name badge on which reads "Ian" as being all the evidence that they need to say that it isn't Kajagoogoo. without faulting their lateral thinking, that's too obvious. for a start "Limahl out of Kajagoogoo" wouldn't fit on a badge, and it would distract from the Bully emblem. of course a celebrity guest on in secret isn't going to use their real name, and "Ian" is virtually an anagram of Limahl anyway. i suppose he could have gone on with a name badge reading "Nick Beggs" but the fans would not have forgiven such with ease.

as interesting as the above all is (i hope) it was far more common to find celebrity guests in the audience of Bullseye than to witness them as actual contestants. some rather impressive VIP guests graced the audience practically every week. we shall look at this in some detail later on, or we will if you elect to keep reading. in the mean time, though, look at the below and allow your attention to be drawn to the audience quasi cleverly blurred out in the image.

gasp you do as you realise you recognize who exactly that one lady is, but i shall not name her here as i might become a victim of state sponsored assassination for doing so. instead, then, concentrate on the slightly obscured gentleman with the big, bushy moustache. the moustache that looks more than a bit, as in identical, to the one a certain Freddie Mercury had......

it has been announced that the two members of Queen who keep Queen a going concern, that is Brian May (not the one what did the music for Mad Max 2) and Roger Taylor (not the one out of Duran Duran), are making a "biopic" film of Freddie Mercury. with some interest i shall watch it and see if they address a long standing rumour that i have made up. when writing and recording the album The Miracle i have an idea that the band wanted to do a song called Bullseye (Win A Speedboat). Jim Bowen, quite the regular on the rock circuit, stepped in and asked them not to, as it would reveal some of the secrets we will look at here (eventually, i promise, stick around). with the song already done and wishing not to disrespect or offend Jim Bowen, they simply changed a few of the words and released it under the name Khashoggi's Ship.  they got away with it as whilst Khashoggi was fairly wealthy and celebrated, he was no Jim Bowen and did not live the Jim Bowen life.

and just who has lived the Jim Bowen life? Jim Bowen, that's who. a complete one off, and none of us are worthy enough to try and emulate all that he has done. so, you know, don't. unless you are James Whittaker, i suppose.

so what was the lure, the appeal and the magic which enticed so many famous people and celebrities on to Bullseye in one capacity or another? and we are talking proper celebrities here; people who had a genuine talent and worked hard to break into the public conscious. not like today, when all you have to do is look plastic, be a bit thick and be easily manipulated as a consequence and making a video of your sexual progressions certainly enables too.

it's because of, rather than despite, the fact that celebrities were proper and revered back then that Bullseye was so popular among the elite of society. their exuberant and extravagant life of splendour pretty much precluded them from what we might consider "normality". as Bullseye was considered the champion of the common man, in the universal sense of mankind, it was a natural lure. what better way to meet the people who had made them so celebrated than via the forum of their show?

there's a wonderful story about Grace Jones which personifies this. no, so far as i am aware Grace was not a part of the Bullseye alumni, but i cannot state as fact that she never sneaked in to the audience. anyway, the story (more of an urban legend) is that she can often be found in corner shops around London and so forth, purchasing cigarettes or whatever else you may buy from such establishments. if she is approached by a member of the public - and admirer perhaps - and asked if she is indeed Grace Jones, apparently she laughs and says "my dear, if i was Grace Jones would i really be in a shop like this?". that is enough to distract.

David Bowie (see above for whether or not he may have been in the Bullseye set at some stage) did something similar. although usually quite open to approaches, when he wanted some quiet time he would walk around with a Greek or Italian newspaper very visible. psychologically this did the trick and made people second guess themselves as to whether or not it was really him. by the time they had decided to ask anyway, he was already off on his travels.

it is absolutely not for me to say whether or not any famous people you believe you can see in the above picture are really who you think they are. let your imagination, your aspiration and your wish to see who that you would want to see be in the picture take total control of the matter.

one of the most compelling theories, and again i have pretty much just made this  up, about gameshows is that they are "rigged" or otherwise "fixed". such conspiracies surround things like lotteries and any other such form of contest or game of chance where you may win coins of money. what if they are, but not how you think? perhaps these prizes are set to reward those who have, in a covert and tacit way, served society. maybe all contestants, all lottery winners, etc, are being rewarded in a subtle yet public way for being police informants, assisting governments with subtle matters in a discreet or even discrete way, or have simply pleased a member of the nobility or royalty with their actions.

a factor supporting the above is that game show prizes, quite like cash, tend to be tax free affairs. they also have a built in audit trail, albeit a seminal one. worth thinking about, perhaps, and it would certainly explain why i have not won the lottery as such as of yet.

the above does indeed show he who may or may not be Limahl out of Kajagoogoo (and i am comfortable that i am spelling both of those reasonably right) showing off his skill and prowess at the darts. quite an impressive aim he had, to be sure. but he, with his ostensible partner in the episode, did not do so well as to finish first and triumph towards the penultimate round, Bully's Prize Dartboard. as enthusiasts of the show will know, this does not mean he is excluded entire from the final round proper......

another word on his excellency, if you so wish the Bullseye See, Jim Bowen. exactly how did he feel about the show he is indelibly associated with being such a lure, perhaps irresistible magnet, for the celebrated, revered and famous for society? no one knows for sure as i believe he has not been directly asked. in part, though, you would feel that he shoulders some of the responsibility, if not burden, for this. the calm, reassuring nature of his presence in this world is, by and large, a factor in the attraction. people of all walks of life wanted to be near Jim Bowen because to do so made you feel more at peace and very much at comfort in this world.

not that Jim Bowen was allowed to carry the weight of this alone. a near ever present on Bullseye with him was Tony Green. ostensibly he was there to score the darts when it became clear, early on, that Jim Bowen was not adapted for speed in doing such himself. his soothing voice and calm ways steadied the nerves of contestants, and was equally as pleasant a thing to experience as the ways of Jim Bowen.

there is another important service which Tony Green brought to Bullseye, but we shall address that a bit later on. i do, in this regard, hope that the myths, mysteries and secrets revealed so far are keeping you interested enough to keep reading.

in something of an ostensible nature the above depicts his grace Jim Bowen bidding farewell to he who might be Limahl off of Kajagoogoo and his partner. although French seldom played a particularly strong part or had any relevance to Bullseye, which in many respects shows how the show reflected the reality of the era, au revoir may well be the best way to describe the above exchange. not being the contestants that made it to Bully's Prize Dartboard did not automatically mean your  presence on the show was concluded.

that said, at this stage of proceedings in an episode - that is, when a set of contestants are to exit stage left on a temporary or permanent basis - something important happens. they are presented with, well, a presentation i suppose.

you can get a glimpse of the presentation, or presented items, above, but in the below it is somewhat more clearer. a more better look, if you so wish to see.

quite, there is a case to say that someone like me need say no more on the prizes all contestants on Bullseye were able to walk away with, for on an ostensible level they have been well covered and are particularly well known of. but just maybe there is more to them than meets a superficial eye.

just what if the tankard, the goblet and the somewhat sacramental sculpture of Bully were all far more symbolic than assumed in the 80s? perhaps in ceremonially awarding these - quite publicly, let us not forget - Jim Bowen was welcoming the recipients in an ordaining way to a select sect within society. once accepted the recipient was now ipso facto a member of a part of society that, like a rock within a pile of rocks, operated under very different laws and customs what would apply to the likes of you and i.

this would certainly explain the staunch vetting of contestants on the show which presumably happened. i mean, yes, sure, you could purchase replica tankards and goblets (maybe in the latter, i did not search ebay for them) at the time and now, but they would not have been touched by Jim Bowen. as such the powers of separate laws and customs would not be applicable to the owner. it would be of unfortunate consequence for them to act as if they did should they be found to hold but a replica one.

at some point earlier i mentioned Tony Green, with a promise of returning to him. this is now.

numerous aspects of Tony Green tend to play on the mind of audiences. two of them shall be discussed now. the first of these is the most obvious. as illustrated in the two pictures we have seen here you rarely, if ever, saw him face on. one conspiracy theory about this is that it was because it was rare that the real Tony Green appeared; a stunt double was deployed for the dangerous bits like contestants throwing darts. many cite the evidence of this as being the body double used to complete Oliver Reed's scenes in Gladiator, and for that matter Brandon Lee's bits in The Crow.

the truth is quite different. at all times i really was Tony Green. don't think, however, in terms of him having his back to the camera; concentrate on where he was looking. sure, in part he was looking at the dartboard to score the game, but also he was keeping an eye on the audience. in a highly charitable and generous way, Tony Green observed the star studded, celebrity audience at all times to make sure they were at comfort and getting the very most from the Bullseye experience.

my favourite mystery of Bullseye relates to Tony Green's attire. fans will be quite far away from needing me to say that he had two styles of dress. for those not in the know, Tony (or rather Mr Green) was either wearing a very posh and dapper suit, or he was wearing more smart casual clothes, normally complemented by a Pringle of Scotland or Slazenger style golf jumper, as made popular by the late, great Seve Ballesteros.

absolutely nothing about what Tony Green wore was random. it was very deliberate. again, this is all hiding a rock within a pile of rocks. in episodes where Tony Green was wearing smart casual clothes it possibly meant that the audience contained just regular members of the elite of society, such as actors, actresses, singer, artists, sporting champions and the wealthy. if, however, Tony Green was in a suit, then there is every chance that it signified the audience contained members of the aristocracy, the nobility and, gasp, royalty.

what you are looking at above is one of several (nine) luxury prizes casually presented to winning participants in the penultimate round, which once again was Bully's Prize Dartboard. this was number 5 on Bully's Prize Dartboard, and please do not think for one moment that there was anything casual or random about behind which numbers the prizes were located. as we have seen, it may well have been that Limahl in disguise was a contestant on this episode. this luxury car stereo was (from what i remember) behind number 5. and guess what the highest chart position of Kajagoogoo's ostensible debut album, White Feathers, was in the UK? yes, 5. co-incidence? i think not.

luxury is indeed the key to the above. the prize looks, in the 21st century, to be a pretty rudimentary car stereo system off of the 80s, before the world all went CD and then DAB and "streaming" in cars. not so, not quite. this is a top of the range JVC cassette deck and radio, and is accompanied by Sahsio speakers. rather infamously the only cars in the 80s what where capable of handing the installation of a JVC deck with Sashio speakers were probably limousines, Bentleys, Rolls Royce and top end Mercedes Benz models. as in, this prize would only be of any practical use to the elite of society.

there is an awful lot of conjecture here for you to digest, if indeed you have read all of this so far and intend to read more. a pause could well be appropriate. now let us do this, but do so with another image of the audience for this particular episode. gasp, revel and admire in awe the astonishing number of famous, important and celebrated people gathered together to watch Bullseye, if you so choose to do so.

how come none of these theories, or if you like myths, mysteries and secrets, of Bullseye never came out in the 80s? well, the "internet" as we know it now did not exist then, at least not for the public. those welcomed to the fraternity depicted here have of course always had it, accessing it by very specially adapted Commodore 64 differentiation engines, probably. but also why would someone reveal this information then? should a ship be set ail on steady waters there can surely be no reason to rock it.

from a celebrity point of view - the exalted and the important - the lure of Jim Bowen then is what we all know it now, considering the elevated position he was put in recently. many knew his wisdom, guidance and compassionate advice would allow them to secure greatness. others rejected such, and they either went on to be no one of consequence or fell in disgrace, sometimes in the form of a custodial sentence. to be wise is to know when you need help and direction. Jim Bowen gave this to those that would seek it, freely and openly via the conduit of Bullseye

am i close to exhausting all that i could possibly say on the subject of Bullseye in this post? very nearly. i would fancy that this takes longer to read than it would to simply watch the episode i have randomly used as an example, but anyway it's done now and here we are.

above is the climax of Bullseye. this is where - in the first instance - the winners who played in the penultimate round get the chance to gamble the prizes they won off of Bully's Prize Dartboard against a special mystery prize. well, this fluctuated. sometimes it was just the prizes they won they gambled, in other instances they had to put the cash they won in rounds one and two down as a stake in the wager too. yes i do know why this changed from time to time, but i am sorry some secrets must remain such.

the contestants on Bully's Prize Dartboard were not compelled to take the final gamble. they had the time it took the dartboard to rotate, in accordance with decidedly Masonic rotation principles, to decide. during this time the audience were encouraged to shout out whether they believed the contestants should gamble or not. at face value this seemed like a bit of interaction or banter, but no this was not all. a rock hidden in a pile or rocks once more. whilst we heard what we assumed was a bus load of pensioners screaming, the contestants - and Jim Bowen - had special hearing attuned to one voice in the crowd alone. i cannot reveal their identity, but addressing them as your majesty would probably not be incorrect. they, and they alone determined whether the contestants should gamble, or defer to contestants previously and as it turns out temporarily eliminated.

as you can see in the above, in this instance the contestants that finished second were the ones to take on Bully's Prize Gamble. this is as was said from a key member of the audience. but we shall, again, get to this later.

much of Jim Bowen's charming and unassuming demeanour excluded people from seeing the obvious. this obvious is that he not quite flaunted but certainly did not hide away any of the elements explored in this post. look at the way he is stood in the above, for instance. is that someone of very significant importance he is partially obscuring from view?

the natural actions of Jim Bowen did not distract you and make you think of what he was doing. for a start, going on what episodes i can remember, never once did he wear the same shirt, suit and tie twice. at least not in the same combination. also, contestants were always paid in cash, counted out by Jim Bowen for all the world to see. other than the fact that, as highlighted earlier, cash being tax free, why did no one ever clock that Jim Bowen, in the 80s, had several thousands of pounds in his suit pocket at any given moment? it is right and proper that all what he done with Bullseye was so richly rewarded as to be able to walk around with such amounts.

Limahl, or in the interests of cover and accuracy "Ian", and his partner went on to take on Bully's Prize Gamble as the incumbent winners were instructed not to do so. the objective of this contest is to score 101 or more with 6 darts. to do so sees you win the special prize, to fail would be to forfeit the money won in cash. the cash that you had won had to be handed back to his excellency Jim Bowen prior to you being permitted to take the gamble. 

and so in this instance it came to pass that Limahl / "Ian" and his partner were most triumphant in the challenge, scoring 101 with precision prior to all six darts being expelled at the board. there was, as ever, much merriment in this victory. being embraced in win by Jim Bowen was a significant blessing that not so many got to experience.

why was 101 selected as the target? again, another myth, mystery or secret. one who thinks 101 instantly thinks of George Orwell and the significance of the number 101 in his arguably most celebrated work, 1984. although i think Animal Farm is the one of most relevance to a modern audience.

the range of possible and potential prizes were hidden behind the screen. of the most popular was certainly the speedboat, which anyone who existed in the 80s and ever lived surely lived with the dream of one day being able to win. sometimes it was a car, or a complete kitchen set. controversially for the time in instances the prize was a holiday to a luxurious island, such as Kos, Australia or the Maldives. how were such holidays made possible? well, no one thought to ask either his eminence Jim Bowen or the great Tony Green if they so happened to own the islands where these holidays were to be held......

perhaps the most popular of special Bully prizes off of Bullseye that i did not mention was a caravan. and not just any caravan, but a luxury one. the type of which might have been thought of to use in the well intentioned, but ultimately ill fated and never realised highly controversial Bullseye Christmas Gangbang concept; something covered in part here.

any particular lure associated with the luxury caravan? plenty? people such as Limahl were forever on tour, doing concerts for the fans. hotels can be quite restrictive, and so a caravan would have been a most splendid and opulent way for a pop star to visit adoring and adulating fans across the land. members of the aristocracy and nobility were too noted for their fondness for caravans, as it allowed them a relatively easy means to visit and inspect the lands over which they ruled.

it would be prudent, i believe, for both you and i for me to cease sharing the secrets of Bullseye that i have thought of and indeed up as i have gone along right here. there can be no value in all being shared. should one know everything then, after all, there would be nothing else left to discover, explore or live for. we would all surely and truly weep like that most famous of Alexander; a leader who could in a sense be described as the Jim Bowen of his day.

leave things be i shall, then, with the expressed hope and wish that if not informative then perhaps this has entertained one or two of you for a little while. that was, perhaps is, my sole intention so far as all of this goes.

do of course be excellent to each other, and remember

you can't beat a bit of Bully.......................................